the birthday sex attempts...and the ill-fated female cock block

In general, it is an age old tradition to get laid on your birthday. From the obligatory birthday blow job given to that significant other to the drunken slobbering make-outs on your own single girl b-day night...it's mandatory that one get laid on the day of your birth.


Last weekend was the wrap of California girl b-days! And as necessary, boozing to the point of incoherence took plave for one special birthday girl. But this time the stakes were a bit higher.


Our friend Suzie Q, had been, through no active decision of her own, chaste for the last 9 months. This terrible fate, it was decided by our drunken group, was to be changed on her night. After all, it is a tradition.


I hold it to heart that your birthday is all about you. One should be able to scream, cry, kick, dance, fight, and fuck whomever, wherever they want on their birthday. And little Suzie Q, provided multiple shots of tequila, had her eye on one special little guy that night.


Poor Suzie damn near had a stroke with all her nerves about being with a boy. She kept running back to our table babbling about how she didn't know what to do, had no game etc. However, these nerves had no effect on her ability to very publicly make out with him in the middle of the bar. All signs seemed to point to our little posse getting the unvoluntarily celibate Suzie laid, what better birthday present?...but is it ever that easy when you're in a group of all females? There's always one vixen lurking...somewhere behind a jager-bomb there's a trollop with you and you're chosen fuck-buddy in her cross hairs.

This time that jager-sparked jealousy lie within our own quarters.

One of our friends, decided to go to a booty call's birthday rather than dear Suzie's. And when we decided to go there before the bar she texted, "i don't think she'll have fun". Uhhh ok, we'll just go to the bar...bitch...But really, it hurt Suzie that this friend would not be coming.

Well, low and behold, said friend arrives with booty call. How nice, right? WRONG.

Instantly, she asks if Suzie is having fun. I gladly report she is and is all over her chosen boy. "He wouldn't go for her" was the snap reaction that I shockingly recieved. "Well she's drunk, let her enjoy herself" I say cautiously.

Now it is vaguely obvious something is up. The friend is with booty call and so I ignore it. But every second Suzie appears at our table for liquid encouragement and spazzing out, said friend corners Suzie's eye candy and blatantly occupies his time. This is where Suzie would generally roll her eyes and walk away, but we've pumped enough tequila in her that her location would be unknown to her let alone the not so subtle female cock blocking attempts.

The fabulously intoxicated Suzie Q walks directly up to said friend and make-out buddy, and continues her drunken flirtations. Moments later, Cock Block McGee appears at our table to complain that Suzie has walked up and "hipchecked" her when she's talking to Boy. More than likely, Suzie fell into her since her tequila strut was in full force.

So when all is said and done...does birthday sex win out over jager-bomb jealousy?

Apparently, tequila oblivion rendered some sort of attractiveness that conquered the appeal of a girl who blatantly cock blocks her friend in the presence of her booty call.

Moral of the story, female cock blocking in a bar where you know everyone, at a friends birthday in the presence of the booty call you arrived with will only result in you looking like a complete fool. The 2am girl stays the 2am girl with her own morning of shame and the birthday sex will be had with a resulting morning of a happier walk of shame. You just can't fuck with tradition ladies.